Hear/Say » grace

Droodle

admin — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 04:16:40 +0000

I daydream about ridiculous ideas, like how life naked would be better or worse.
I’m still not sure about that one.
I also wonder whether I am an intro– or extro– vert; I love company, but I get tired of them so easily, or bored. I’ve refused to go hang out with le fam today, so the punishment is starvation (it isn’t, but I’m too lazy to go to the ATM by myself). Which brings me back to the first point: if i were alone, I probably wouldn’t be so lazy in feeding my appetite, and I would have the option to hang out naked. I’m not saying I would (I’m leaning toward clothing right now) but the fact that my options to do what I want is restricted drives me nutso.
This is all irrelevant. I’m posting some stuff in my sketchbook that I’ve done this past month and some here in Taiwan.

The first time I play with the new pencils, my drawing is literally retarded:

Saucier:

I was in such a bad mood once that I started drawing everyone in the cafe as devils…

I drew a picture of me holding Sultan, the kitten I had for a month:

Playing with markers…

…and some doodles…

Graceee

Oodles of Doodles

admin — Sun, 02 May 2010 21:59:39 +0000

…or just six. Done yesterday, during the doldrums of Saturday evening.

http://gracie.imagekind.com

Antlered Angst

Lightness

Print me

Sweet Nothings

Dandy

Flying pigs need flying slop

Better pix can be found HERE, at my gallery.

And now for homework!

Graceee

Snap

admin — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 19:59:11 +0000

Consciousness is simply a snap of electricity!

But look-see-here, some consciousness of Greece I saved just for you… sketches, a rough amateur poem… the rest of my thoughts lay in kebabs and a smartcar.

gracie.imagekind.com Red Beach, Santorini

gracie.imagekind.com Rock isle on Kamari black beach

gracie.imagekind.com Kamari beach cliff

: gracie.imagekind.com Flower Bed Head

gracie.imagekind.com Poem sketch poem

Can’t wait for the next shock of inspiration I might have… spring-time sprouts laziness in my brain and pushes out all brain functions through my ears.

Graceee

Hey Loser Have More Fun

admin — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 17:57:44 +0000

via sabino.tumblr

So,,, fml, even my brother makes fun of me because he thinks I don’t have any lovers.

Well, I don’t, but he shouldn’t truly know that, and above all he shouldn’t feel like he’s in *any* place to commentary… 13-year-old scrawny Asian boy doesn’t boast any pimping experience either.

I’ve been “busy”; I “just don’t have time” to “fit another person into my lifestyle”; “I don’t like anyone”. Spin this spinster business away. Whatever! I have crushes… I swear… I think people are cute. I’m just very particular. In a terrible, haunting way: and judgements really don’t help. I also hang out with dominating social butterflies (this is a diplomatic way of saying: others who demand and will fight for attention) and am an ordinary wallflower. I thought I’d be more of a free spirit, but I’m such a stick in the mud.

Most of my problem is just that I don’t meet a lot of people. I work in an office full of women, and then I do homework, and then I feel like the straightedge loser in the corner sipping on my classy ginger ale.

But petty complaints are for suckers; I suppose I really should give others more of a chance: …

Maybe not Cyrus, the boy who wastes no time in asking for numbers after half-a-block, or Marco, who picks Asian tourists up at the Spanish Steps during his lunchbreak and romances them silly from the view of the Pincio (or his own little yacht); and this might eliminate most of my recent choices, but I’m sort of okay with that.

Which brings me back to where I was.

And I’m okay with that. Except, I hope I’m semi-talented at making out. Doesn’t everybody? (I used to be worried about this– being out-of-practice and all). And I’m glad to be independent from that strange need for validation by the opposite sex. No weird Daddy-issues here.

Graceee

GUYS

admin — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 11:59:24 +0000

I’m totally going to Rome in like, 9 hours.

Filthy sik.

I will try very hard not to look like this

To my dear family and roommates: do not fear, for I have tattooed my face into the insides of your eyelids. You will never forget the asymmetry of my face.

To my dear friends and/or co-workers: I will return 100 fold stronger and greater than ever before; but also 100 times as merciful. Be excited. Be wary. But be excited.

To my facebook friends: I will be deleting some of you soon. 2010 calls for a purge.

To Elliott Smith, Michael Cera, endearingly awkward darlings, and Seattle: I love you–! Marry me!

Love,

Gracious

PS: keep u posted

Zig The Zag

admin — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:51:55 +0000

Oh cute

TWOOO THOUSAND NINE was FINE. It grew on me, like a case of eggs had blown up and the egg whites congealed in a half-cooked mess, seeping into the nooks and crannies of cold, wet pavement.

I’m the cold wet pavement.

I say it’s interesting that the idea of a new start is needed to drastically improve oneself. We need an institutionalized deep breath (time, a holiday to celebrate the progression of time) in order to take a step back and view our lives in this layer of light. This makes everything so much easier in terms of socializing on New Years. Everyone is resolved to be nicer, and a better person. Wait, unless they’re busy getting wasted.

I usually don’t have any resolutions (I used to be that snot-face that went around going Uggghh, It doesn’t matter, looooooosers), because I’m already neurotically thinking of ways I suck everyday. I really need to stop mumbling. I need to stop being so judgemental. I need to cut back on hedonistic pleasures. I need to stop pestering. I need to read more, I need to stop being so lazy, more pro-active… why am I so whiny, and inconsistent, I need to have more conviction, dedication, perseverence, patience… just thinking about what I “should” do is ironically discouraging.

SORT OF LIKE STUDYING FOR FINALS.

But enough of that. I have a shower to enjoy before I make a nest of spoon-fed knowledge.

GUH

RASHE

Noia

admin — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:09:23 +0000

Last night, I was passing out to Weeds– aka watching it on my laptop whilst I lay in bed, sideways, awkward, but not caring– and there’s that part? where– OH, SPOILERS in case you’re three years behind– where Mary Louise Parker was crying because she’s watching this sex tape her husband and her had made, and she’s crying because she’s the struggling mother selling dope, because she’s lonely, because she has two kids without a father, and I start bawling.

But not because of Mary-Louise Parker/Nancy Botwin’s problems.

sidenote: girl at 11 o clock has CROCODILES on her desktop. Not cute ones, either; not ones refined in the form of boots, but just… yellow, leathery crocodiles… gross.

I wasn’t crying because of Nancy Botwin’s loneliness. It’s really hard for me to cry, because I have trouble losing control of my tear ducts. Literally- I haven’t cried for a year. When I do cry, it’s like, a minute long and so not worth it. I would love to be able to cry on command, or cry when I feel upset, but it just doesn’t happen. My short attention span doesn’t allow me to moan about something long enough for an excellent sob fest, as much as I’d like to engage in the act of sobbing and its therapeutic externalization of my misery. Usually, I eat instead.

For the third time, I wasn’t crying because of Nancy, but for myself; I mean, sure, it was sad as hell, poor woman, her poor children, her poor pot-dealing ways. But of course my life is a lot more intense for me- and it was one of those stupid moments where you freak about life. Not in an emo way or anything; I’m a pretty fucking lucky girl, and I realize it, which is also probably why I can’t cry. I wonder if I have the SAD disease.

In Buddhism, we are taught that life is suffering. Again– not in the “emo” stereotype sense, but in the sense that life is a burden, and blank desire is the driving force of that suffering. We always want: we want to eat. We want to sleep. We want to buy Christmas presents for other people, we want Christmas presents for ourselves. We want the new laptop. We want the newer laptop and a new phone. We want a car, we want some new shoes… we want a better world…

And it never ends! There is no push-pull/counter force to desire: it overcomes both sides of the balance; it pushes and pulls us in different directions, and this conflict of desiring more and more, of never ever being content and satisfied, is what life is. It is suffering. We grow old and die too fast, with too little thankfulness for the items we do have– because we’re too busy wanting more. What makes humans humans– the ability to think and improve and progress– is also a cursed commitment.

I graduate from college this year. It’s terrifying; I’ve worked to get to this point, and now I want more college and less real-world. Yet another side of me is impatient to throw myself into work, get results…. see what I can actually accomplish. When four years of your life has constantly been divided into 1) school 2) work 3)family 4)friends, you don’t see results or big progressive steps in any of those departments… it all blurs into a dizzy, busy schedule.

So when I told the creepy, socially pre-pubescent boy that lived next to me in Terry dorms that I was too busy to have a boyfriend (because that’s what he asked me. Because he was on the verge of asking me to either go out with him or for advice on how to quickly attract the opposite sex. He was trembling.) it was ridiculous, and also true. Tara says I have trust issues. And that i’m picky, and unrealistic, and am only attracted to the unattainable… those also might be true. The boys that have made themselves available to me are boring because they’re so accessible. Physically and emotionally… there’s no tension of attraction. If I get along with someone, I get along with them famously, and both of us would know it. To me, there’s nothing that exists in-between.

But back to Nancy Botwin and my misery: yes, you want life’s problems to solve themselves, but then it would be too accessible, like those boys. You would get bored, and die bored, which sounds even more terrible than anything I’ve got bothering me now. It seems like you have to deal with things while keeping the bigger picture in mind; but it’s so easy to not care. It’s easy to sink into mind-numbing apathy and Baudelaire’s ennui, but how is that a better quality of life, of thinking? If you can’t fight the suffering of desire, you put it to good use, right?

All this thinking at 9 in the morning has me hankering for a cig; can’t you see the movie shot, moving down the slant of University Way, the coldness making the frosty parked cars and the searing air sparkle with ice, and there’s me, in my stupid yellow backpack, pulling a space-cadet-Margot-Tenenbaum-stance, staring straight into the camera with worlds and galaxies of possibly tantalizing thoughts just out of reach beyond a burning stoge?

I’m nowhere near as pleasant to look at, and I don’t have cigarettes, but this morning, the same addiction to endless circular meditation runs in my veins.

Graceee

Paisley Man

admin — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:56:47 +0000

The Paisley Man,

Paisley Man,
Loves to tan,
So much that he turns orange.

The UV Rays
Make him gay
And turn his porridge to porr-ange.

Poor Paisley Man,
His two non-eyes,
Broken from too much tokin’,

But still beware!
His paisley stare,
Will haunt you ’til you’re croakin’.

Gracieee

Naked Alone Time

admin — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:36:06 +0000

So part of “being a blogger” might include the excitement of how many people actually read your blog. This includes gloating over your Google Analytics numbers (although you might not truly understand what the numbers mean…)

One of my most popular posts is “Things That Disgust Me”, and ironically I think it’s popular only because Mario Lopez is on it. That sick sack of six pack abs has earned me some glory. I don’t know how to reconcile that with… *him*.

I saw this today:

Via merricat.tumblr: what-katie-did: spanielhearted:typed:whatsername2: joehhzeh:(via fuckyeahhappy)

…and it does make me happy. Number 1, for sure; Number 2, of course; numbers 3 and 10 don’t really happen to me, but I’d probably like it; Number 8 is irrelevant to me (in fact, most often I look up and it’s 9:11, and I remember 9/11… and feel sad); but I always pull a Number 4 and drive my friends/family crazy.

I just felt like making my own list– because things have been down lately. Some unfortunate events have occured and impacted the lives of those around me, and… well, it’s good to appreciate what little things you have.

WHAT I LIKE and what makes me happy, from the smallest to the biggest things in daily life:

. Naked alone time (ultimate freedom)

. When parallel parked cars are parked just so you can step up onto the curb with ease (and not look like an idiot)

. String of green lights stretching out as far as the eye can see (and no cops in sight)

. Discovering new things to talk about with old friends

. Finding and using a precise word in a precise instance and with impeccable timing and delivery

. The evolution and recycling of a worthy inside joke

. Waking up to a fresh morning where you know exactly who you are

. Strangers who smile back at you on the streets

. Genuine e-mails from genuine friends

. An organized calendar

. When I laugh at myself because of how I’ve felt or what I’ve done in the past

. When you have the heater all to yourself

. Swaddling yourself in a sea of blankets

. When your tea or coffee is not hot enough to burn yourself but just hot enough

. Getting caught listening and singing to a song you normally would never listen to

. Stepping into a crisp winter day

. Finding the perfect table to lurk at a busy coffee shop

. Meeting someone new and interesting for the very first time

. Rare moments of laughing hysterically with more than one of your friends

. Cute snowboarding boys

. Passing out from a day of play

. When you remain comfortable the entire day because you were smart about layering

. In Mario Kart: When the shell you shoot goes exactly where you want it to

. Discovering a new favorite movie

. Really great beards. The ones that are thick and textured, not too groomed but perfectly hairy.

. When the juice you bought quenches your thirst, rather than make you thirstier

. Those moments where you can’t stop smiling

Enough cheesiness. Enjoy this:

<3
Graceee

Coodle Doodle Doo

admin — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:55:20 +0000

When is Arrested Development the movie coming out already??? My mind aches for the awkward pauses, family drama, and sibling rivalry only AD can provide…. imdb.com has more info, but not much.

Anyway– I’ve been doodling less, but here’s a few that I’ve managed to pop out this summer. Posted ‘em on my imagekind site:

Skele-Tea-Time

Squawk

Zoooodle

http://gracie.imagekind.com

Gracie