Hear/Say

I think I’ve mentioned before that my aunt supposedly named me after Grace Kelly aka the Princess of Monaco. I do not take any special meaning from this, especially because the most common connotation of being named Grace is that I’m 1. Christian and 2. Korean, both of those assumptions correlating with each other and false.

That said, I allow myself a small dose of *gloat* as Grace Kelly is, as you may or may not know, a gorgeous bombshell.

The gloat melts when I realize how far I am from the glory of my ‘namesake’. The very comparison makes me uglier. Petite becomes short, stubby; my small features, positively stunted. I am a mere vestige of a woman. Grace Kelly is woman and more.

Enough with the self-pity; I almost felt badly of myself. Grace Kelly is a slut.

Or so ‘This Recording’ claims. Recognizing that the double standard is unfortunately a glaring factor in jealous stares, gritting teeth in envy– especially with “that bitch Grace Kelly got everything she ever wanted”– well, what is a slut anyway? And who provides these mysterious accounts of her salacious ways? If they’re so easy to kiss and tell, their credibility is rather lacking. How can we truly stand and point fingers at the sexual behaviors of others when it is programmed within our biology to procreate as much as possible?

The general sentiment embodied in that exclamation– “that bitch Grace Kelly got everything she ever wanted”– well, it assumes a number of things about Grace Kelly, but reveals none of it to be absolutely true. It does hint at the frail, shrill insecurities of us who feel that way– us who admire her beauty, her clever, lovely, show-biz friendly two first names. The mere fact that she had Marlon Brando and Clark Gable all in one lifetime leaves us retching at our own reflections. Why, Grace Kelly, why?

On the other side of the spectrum, but equally denounced as human– Audrey Hepburn. This Recording has the scoop, the dirt, on Audrey– her eating disorder and low self esteem, the usual Hollywood bullshit– bad marriage, insecure affair, diva-behavior– why, she’s nothing like Grace Kelly, but every brunette girl wants to have Breakfast at Tiffany’s; they want to be sweetly serene; play the coy, but moral prostitute– the social call girl who touts independence but keeps those strong, male arms close and ready. She was a divine star who wasn’t a great actress– but epitomized an angelic beauty. Despite her affair with a married man, or whatever petty “Ah ha!”‘s are shouted out at diva-behavior, This Recording points out how surprisingly exalted Hepburn became in the public eye. She could do no wrong; she was the hypocritical, conflicted performance of the perfect woman that America was looking for. She had the means to be happy– money, men to fall for her beauty and grace, but to no avail.

While “that bitch” Grace Kelly had the audacity to be confidently sexual and to take whatever opportunity she had in order to “[get] everything she [might have] ever wanted”, she may have faced scrutiny for her escapades (murmurs of “daddy issues” due to preferences for older men) but they seemed to make her stronger and more of an independent, fierce, admirable heroine for herself and for those who dare compare the meek Queen to the empowered slut.

And I’m not just saying this cos we share a name.

Articles published by thisrecording.com:

“In Which Nothing About Audrey’s Ex-Husband Interests Us” by Almie Rose | Feb. 9, 2011

“In Which All of Grace Kelly’s Looks Were Too Sad” by Almie Rose | Dec. 8, 2009