Hear/Say

So lately, being unemployed and bored, I’ve taken to watching dozens of movies in my cave of a room. Cave!? I should say comfy den; now that I have my own bathroom, I don’t have to leave My Premises.

Also, been celebrating the VHS. Because you can get any movie made before Star Wars Episode II (which is why I can’t find it anywhere on VHS), and flicks created in that great era are usually more interesting and sophisticated on the story-telling level anyhow (this is a giant blanket statement; although, I can definitely say that Adam Sandler’s movies have only gone downhill from Billy Madison, which– even as a celebrated movie– is sort of sad. I guess the baby-talk just wears people out). PS: not all of these are on VHS.

Batman
Starring Michael Keaton as Batman/Bruce Wayne, Jack Nicholson as The Joker and villan-turned-Joker Jack Napier, and Kim Basinger as the geeky but sexually appealing freelance photographer Vicki Vale.

Michael Keaton has pouchy lips.

It really works with the old school Batman costume– think of how well Christian Bale does it with the new Batman gear– his lips are pretty sharp (as are his teeth); his nose is pretty angular now that I think about it, and it goes with the sleek facade of the newer, darker version of the superhero. Anyway, Keaton’s pouchy lips are so 90′s. Like poofy scrunchies. And it’s like he’s throwing out Zoolander’s “Blue Steel” look 24/7.

See? Quite masculine, sharp-cornered lips, a nicely accented philtrum (I looked this up: the dip right above your lip), excellent, excellent, Christian Bale. Keep up the intensity.

Jack Nicholson… plays Jack Nicholson. On acid.

Batman Returns

Michael Keaton plays Batman/Bruce Wayne. Christopher Walken as villainous politician/profiteering power-plant magnate,  Danny Devito as the slobbering Penguin (Oswald Cobblepot), and magnificently sexual beast Michelle Pfieffer as magificently sexually deranged Cat-Woman.

First of all– what a great movie. Danny Devito is fantastic, and I’m so glad he’s totally playing up his typecast (creepy, weird, sexually frustrated stout short guy) as George Costanza Over The Edge. This should also say something about our society and our inherent prejudice against short, stout people, but who cares, because Danny Devito plays it up. Wow. His penguin flippers. His sexual innuendos and obscene gestures with his penguin flippers. The fuming, the spitting, the rage, the utter frustration of being him. I watched a few It’s Always Sunny episodes before this movie, so it was really a fascinating juxtaposition.

You’re so very welcome:

And Michelle Pfieffer? As geeky meeky turned desperate, schizophrenic seductress because Christopher Walken shoved her out the window, and cats nibbled on her fingers??? Thank you, Tim Burton. Also, thank you for that rockin’ “HELLO THERE” neon pink light in Cat Woman’s room (she really shouldn’t have smashed it). There is a point in the movie where she literally licks her latex uniform and pretends– no— actually grooms herself like a cat.

Christopher Walken was Christopher Walken as BP embodied in a person that looks like and talks like Christopher Walken.

I also enjoyed the penguin extras. Darling.

The Beauty and the Beast

You know the story. I cried when the Beast died, because I always do. It’s hard to be ugly.

The Most Dangerous Drug in the World

A National Geographic documentary on meth. They emphasized more than several times that the high lasts for up to 12 hours, and interviewed the creator of the “FACES OF METH” campaign. Takeaways? Meth is Gross. Meth is gross. Meth is really really sick. The scabs aren’t from the drug; they’re from people picking their own skin due to paranoia. Meth is gross. Meth gives you meth mouth, where your teeth rot and fall out and your gums rot and your teeth fall out years after you were a meth head and your jaw becomes deformed. Meth is gross.

Aside from the grossness, what is fascinating about meth: it’s so “effective” because it’s molecular structure is so similar to dopamine, which is the pleasure-flow that jumps between synapses and makes you feel good. It overloads your brain with so much dopamine that you’re body can no longer produce it automatically without the drug.

The drug was invented by the Japanese to help soldiers fight days and nights on end, and pump those kamikaze suicide bombers up to … well, fly into things and blow –ish up.

Until recently the drug was legal in Thailand, and frequently used by sex workers and laborers to boost their time-shifts, and thus, their paycheck. While violence due to crazy meth heads exploded, the government finally took action and illegalized it– in a brutal fashion. Many were killed as sketchy government tactics were utilized to target and eliminate meth movers and users. Many still smoke or ingest meth anyway, because they still have to competitively earn their money.

Second moral of the story: don’t have casual sex in Thailand.

Also, it just reinforces my belief that the people I used to live over were totally meth heads. They exhibit all behaviors and all strange appearances in which meth heads are usually suspect.

I Love You, Man

“I love you, Tycho Brahe”

I definitely laughed louder the second time I watched it.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

All I want to do is hang out on their set. Coolest geeks ever.

Yoinks.

Graceee