I’ve totally gotten sick this weekend, and the deathness is encroaching. My UTTER MISERY is slowly but surely enfolding me in its dark, damp arms.Great. This is what it looks like:

My Utter Misery (via planettampon.tumblr)

Sexy, isn’t it? WELL: I won’t blog about it anymore. Falling into Misery is seductive. She’s a slutty one. But I’ll try very hard to avoid her evil artfulness.

So, I finished my Mars Hill project. See it here. Feel free to praise endlessly– or, tear it apart. All comments welcome (although, the former might make my day a little brighter…!). I’ve actually learned quite a bit through making this 2 minute clip– from the tech-y fundamentals of audio editing, to the genuine beliefs of a Christian follower.

I went into it being skeptical (Oh COME ON: it’s too easy– and as I type this, I agree that the excuse is lame to the point of being inexcusable) about the faith, doing exactly what the girl featured in my project said she had difficulty with: those who lumped all wrong-doing Christians with those who wish to do right in the world. The piety of people are subject to critical critique: picking apart practices for hypocrisy, citing the deaths of thousands from the Crusades to– well, today’s political struggle with equal rights and abortion.

So? What gave? Meeting a real girl. Getting to know her. Her charming honesty and kindness opened my eyes a little. Am I a sucker? Not really. I still have a lot of problems with organized religion. But at the same time, I recognize its intrinsic value to Those Who Follow Faithfully.

I had a discussion with a friend– in a cemetery, actually– about religion and its social, institutional, and spiritual values. How I do believe in a kind spirituality: how I believe that people are so astounded by their own capabilities, they’ve created an entire belief to outsource their agency. From the deaths of close ones to the awe of self-discipline and worth, the blame and worthiness have been displaced on this “GOD”: when really, the potential of human beings to <wreck and destroy> or <build and create endless wonders> can be found within themselves.

I understand that in Christianity, this can be seen as blasphemous! and classified as hearsay (see: my blog title)! but many things have been skewed by power, and I believe that the organized structure implemented through centuries of history is a result of the skew. The fact that God is a male and a reflection of man, for example– there are so many human traditions and restraints that this “GOD” figure is trapped by… of course there are the counterexamples, that “God made man in his own image”, etc., but that’s the thing of faith, right? There’s always something… which also proves my point that the elements of faith is endlessly abused in the face of power and propaganda…

But no more. I feel as if everything to be argued about religion has been ironed out and instantly re-wrinkled. If everyone who followed were as pious and kind as the Christian character demanded, the world would be different.

And this is just part of my larger exasperation with people in the world: they need to follow through on what they promise to themselves, to each other. I hate to sound elitist and righteous, though. I’m working on myself every day, and I’m definitely far from perfect.

I'm never tall enough

On the title of this post, though: this entire blog might be a giant knot of tangents.

I’m glad you read it anyway.

Gracious Me

F*** the weather. After checking it several times, because my wardrobe is a garbage bag (See: bugs attack Grace), the weather has pwn’d me again. I dress for rainy and wet, of course Seattle rebels with a punch of sun in the overcast skies. Damn thy fickleness!!! Curses!!! I’d rather have reliable misery– all this undecided sun/cloud nonsense has me in menopausal hot and cold flashes.

On a better note– One of out Many programs/jobs I have applied to has found it in their grace (HA) to accept me. ROME WINTER 2010 or BUST.

All i need now is that internship, a free car, a very cute typewriter, and a cat that doesn’t shed, puke, eat, or defecate, but loves me unconditionally.

And a cornucopia of delicious foods.

And for this bug nonsense to stop.

And Where is My Tuxedo Mask?

Gracie