I wish people didn’t give so much credit to the way media portrays relationships and how they are or are not supposed to be. It leads to empty handed second guessing– over analysis of what is good just kills the simple beauty of what life presents you… Instead of gratitude and appreciation, the meaningless search for meaning turns the simple beauty into a giant black hole of negative want or lack there of: he said he likes me, but why doesn’t he want to be together exclusively? Etc. Or whatever.
Granted, I’m not the most experienced of woman in this strange world of dating.
I’ve learned how easy things can be up to the point of realization that there exists deeper feelings for a person. But how wonderful this painful struggle is in itself! The heaviness brings you a melodramatic romance of significance. Of consequences, of change and growth within oneself. The pain of existence as proof of existence.
My strategy thus far has been to treasure friendships as they are instead of framing them into potential “dateable” candidates. As a sucker for variety, I am also not looking for “types” of people outside of physical traits I appreciate. What’s most charming? Being surprised at how endearing certain characteristics are in certain people.
This goes for everyone I meet, though. Stereotyping or judgements are naturally automated social behaviors, but you can choose to appreciate or depreciate the people you meet, whether or not they “fit” with your sociology economic or cultural class.
This can still be difficult to remember when they’re boring you to tears, or dancing in a way that makes you want to cry silently.